Happy New Year. Well another year down and a decade gone! Time is flying by. I take a look back and share with you my family story from 2019.
All over the blogging community and social media platforms. There is an abundance ofposts and stories from a variety of people giving an insight into their life in 2019. Also including the last Decade. I’d be here forever if it was from the last 10yrs. So much has happened from extreme positives to possibly the lowest and most negative points in my lifetime to date. But it’s how we overcome the negatives and thrive and live on the positives.
This is why I’d like to share with you my family story from 2019. Like any Year it has given us many positives but also brought negatives with it. All of which we have tackled and overcome together and come out the other end smiling. Like with any story there is a Beginning, a Middle and an End. Read on to find out about our 2019.
The start of 2019 was like any to be honest. Now with 5 girls after the latest addition to the brood. Charlotte was born in November 2018. Home life is pretty manic for me and Sarah.
I was holding down a full time Job as a Warehouse Supervisor, Sarah with her part time Job as a Care Assistant within a Private Sector Assisted living accommodation setting. Two of the girls at school. Emelia with us at weekends and school holidays. Ellie had just started attending a local Pre School in the new year Term. And obviously 2 month old Charlotte. She was at home with Sarah through the day. She balanced her work shifts around my working hours and the girls.
No rest for the Wicked.
Sounds busy just at that right? Wrong… Not only did we have an already busy lifestyle. Along with it the girls had after school activities such as Rainbows and Brownies, Gymnastics at a local centre. But also Maisy had a pony Named Migo and Ellie had a Shetland Pony named Peanut.
With all these responsibilities and activities going on. it meant 5am starts for me and late night finishes. Running around in between. With not really much time for ourselves.
Now as a Father and a Partner. Fellow dad’s may be able to relate. We believe we are the strong one. The the rope that keeps the family bundle together. The one to carry the weight on our backs so the rest of the family don’t feel the pressure. I had alot on my plate. Being a typical stubborn bloke. Hiding the effect from my loved ones. I locked away and hid the impact it was having on my mental health.
Mental Health issues are awful.
Not feeling myself, I didn’t feel right. I was happy inside but blank and vague faced on the outside. Sort of emotionless. Stress levels at a high, short tempered and edgey. I could never sit still and relax. Making simple and silly mistakes at work. I needed help, but I wouldn’t admit it until I was left with no choice. This was my hardest moment from my family story.
Around March 2019, was when I had been called into the office by my Manager. (who happened to be and still is my best mate, love you Craig 😘). They had noticed I wasn’t myself lately. Mistakes I had been making which they knew weren’t in my usual nature or character. They recommended that I take some time off and seek some help from My Local GP. It was a massive hit. But with help and support from Sarah and friends. Arriving home that morning. I rang and made an appointment with the GP, I knew I couldn’t carry on this way and I needed help.
The journey of help and speaking out off mental health issues.
At the time I think I was absent possibly 3 weeks under the Dr’s orders with Depression and Anxiety related issues. During the 1st week, I felt like I had lost it. My emotions which I couldn’t stop and were uncontrollable. I locked myself away and other than my appointment I don’t think I left the house. Sarah through this time was my Rock. I will never forget the love and support she gave me through this time.
With great respect to my then workplace. My Manager Craig and my other colleagues, they were super supportive also. During the following 2 weeks of my absence I had received phone calls, texts checking in to see how I was doing. If there was anything I needed. Also offers to help get me out, invites into work for a brew and biscuits 😊, the support network was incredible.
The crippler in my Family story leading to the start of a new journey.
Then came the day I returned to work. Looking back it was a bit of a blur. Nerves, anxiousness and negative thoughts that I was over run with. But I returned, but what was to follow slammed me to rock bottom.
It wasn’t anything on my colleagues or manager. Just one of those shit life situations thrown at you to test your strength and will. A company director pulled in. I sat in the office with Craig and this Director and was informed sadly that I had been selected for Redundancy. Now this wasn’t just myself. But other members of staff from other branches around Malton, York and Selby had also been selected. This sort of Broke me and majorly set me backwards and this then brings us onto the Middle of my Family story of 2019.
Somewhere in the Middle
From a major rough start to the year in my family story. This brings us to the beginning of the middle.
The loss of my income. We had to make alot of sacrifices. One which even today is a tear jerker amongst us. We couldn’t cope and couldn’t afford to give the life the ponies we had deserved. We came to the decision regarding the ponies. Both Ellie and Maisy were devastated. After 12 months with peanut and almost 3yrs with Migo. It was a heartbreaking decision to re-home them for me and Sarah. This is still a raw subject with the girls. Even though they are still local to us we aim to revisit them this year, 2020, so not all doom and gloom.
Decisions Decisions Decisions.
For our family to here we had hit a crossroad of what to do now. Where do we go next. I had received the help from my GP. I was prescribed with anti depressants and given details of NHS therapy offered. After a few weeks on these, my mental health situation was sort of balancing out after a rough start. This was still a struggle with good and bad days. But was more manageable. I’d been prioritised onto the waiting list for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) due to having a child under the age of 12months. The help and support I received so far was good and I was positive in the fight against the mental health demon.
My ex manager and best buddy Craig had also been supportive and helpful. The trade I was in previously was at a local motor factors. Supplying Car Parts and consumables to the Motor Vehicle Trade and Public. He had recommended me to a customer we dealt with based at a dealership for a position they were seeking a candidate for as a Parts Advisor.
I got in contact with them. A CV was requested. So an updated version was sent to them, an interview arranged, attended and all went well. Great news I was offered the position. Which in fairness was a good offer with great career prospects. But something just didn’t feel right. I took a week to consider my decision, sat and spoke with Sarah about it. We both looked and discussed the positives and the negatives around it and how it would suit and affect us as a family. In the end I declined the offer as myself and Sarah decided on another option which has led us to where we are today.
The Stay at home Decision.
The decision we drew upon was for me to be a SAHD – Stay At Home Daddy to our girls. Sarah would continue her Part time work (her earning potential even when i was in my full time supervisor role was higher). But for her it felt the right time to start her journey to her dream career. 6yrs we have been together.
A dream can become reality.
Ever since the day I met her she has aspired to be a Midwife. Ever since the Birth of her eldest Daughter (my eldest Step Daughter) Maisy. From struggling with Preeclampsia, the care and service she recieved during her pregnancy and during labour is what sparked her dream of becoming a Midwife.
Three pregnancies later within the last Decade. Each different to the other. Especially with our Daughter Ellie. With complications and issues. miscarriages in between (never forgotten my sleeping angels 💕). This drove her passion for the career more. With the love there to do the job and also being able to relate to other mothers and parents in difficult situations. She made the decision, and took the plunge and signed up to an access course at our local university to begin her journey.
She’s off to go to Uni… The wonderful University to Learn.
Sarah would start her course in October. Which meant through the middle of this year, we enjoyed our time together and with the girls. We made many memories with trips out and free activities in our local area. Plenty of family time and BBQ’s were shared with family members. Which brings us to the back end of my family story of 2019.
I know what your thinking its a long one right? Sit down brew in hand we’re almost there.
The end of a dark tunnel.
Now coming towards the back end of my family story from 2019 it was a great one for us all. Some ups and downs but mainly happy times.
In October Sarah started her Access to Nursing Course. A course filled with 2 years worth of Material, crammed into 9 or 10 months… Yikes!! This meant a massive change to our family routine. With so much for her to think about and do. From attending uni, Assignments and her job. She has adjusted and taken it incredibly well and I’m so proud of what she is achieving, smashing her goals.
Slight set back in the family story for Sarah.
Back end of October Sarah had a slight hiccup. She ended up with a 7 day holiday in Scarborough hospital with Pneumonia. Very dangerous for her as she suffers seriously with bad Asthma. For all of us this was a major blow. Girls were worried and missing their Mummy. A big change to their routine. I was going out of my mind with worry. But with time and the brilliant care she received she was home and back on her feet after a few weeks. Still smashing her uni stuff from the comfort of Bed at Home.
The here and now.
So this brings us to now really. After a manic few months of Birthdays and Christmas. Quite funny really it’s such a hectic and expensive time of year at the best of times.
We had Ellie turn 4 at the end of October. Maisy had her 8th Birthday on the 5th November. Which involved a joint party was organised for them both at our local go to Soft play Centre. Mini Monsterz (I’m sure to give them a blinding review at some point in this new yearl). Charlotte’s 1st Birthday on the 13th November and 3 days later it was Sarah’s Phew!! Such a manic time but then we have the run upto Christmas. With help from family and our limited budget this year I think we managed amazingly and as a family we had an incredible time 😁.
Now to 2020 and what we look to achieve and improve from my family story.
Well everyone seems to set themselves New Year’s Resolutions. I have in the past but not for a while. I seem to make them and a few weeks or a couple of months down the line they’re forgotten about. This year though it is more goals to achieve rather than resolutions.
To start both myself and Sarah would like to achieve a Healthier lifestyle. The usual eat healthier, excersise more around our busy schedule. We both need to lose some weight, be more active and healthier for our girls.
For myself and my goals, the main one is to cut down on Smoking. It’s a bad habit and I know these days it is majorly frowned upon. I will openly admit that I enjoy a cigarette. I’m not ready to quit… Yet. But I am ready to cut down and stop using it as a crutch when I’m feeling Shit, Down and Depressed or Nervous. Attempt to break the habit and occupy myself with something else rather than sloping off for a fag and a brew.
My other main goal is to aim to spend more time with the girls. All of them, get out more and explore the world. But also more 1 on 1 time.. With Sarah very busy with uni stuff and work. I spend a lot of time with all 4 or 5 of them if Emelia is with us. We don’t get much time to bond 1 on 1. Me and Sarah have decided to make more time for each of them. Cafe trips, shopping, swimming, walks with the dog. Simple things but more for time to spend with each other. To bond with them more alone rather than in such a large group which can be overwhelming and tricky at times.
I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read this post. I know it’s a long one, but what you can expect in 2020 from me and my blog is well, you’ll have to follow and find out 👍