Depression, anxiety and other mental health issues/struggles are more and more common in this modern day. I actually never realised how common it actually was. I went for years feeling down and alone like I was in a dark room with no way out, like you were just under shallow water… But unable to reach the surface. This is how I feel when the depression I struggle with Slaps me in the face and informs me today is going to be a bad day.
My GP helped and so did my fiance when I finally opened up about my struggle with depression and anxiety. Still to this day, I have good days and bad days. But for us Dad’s/Men it’s very difficult for us to open up and be honest about the way we are feeling with our mental health. I am not clear as why, I think it is the male Pride why we feel we need to plod along carrying this burden.
The thought of it being a sign of weakness, a feeling of failure, especially for a Dad who has little eyes closely watching you like a hawk, learning from how you portray yourself. A loving partner who relies on you and to lean on you for help and support.
Well that support is there for us too! We don’t have to battle it alone. Our partners are there to do the same for us, an ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry on. A sturdy rock for us to lean on when we are feeling weak. We are not failing, it’s just a set back. Step back, regroup and come back fighting stronger.
These last few weeks have been rather difficult for me, and to be open and honest it’s starting to take its toll. Constantly feeling of being tired, the negative and worrying thoughts constantly rolling around within your head. Stress levels raised and high, clouding your thoughts and judgment.
Tight chested feeling and unable to catch a proper breath (yep this can be a sign of an incoming panic attack or an attack itself) and the horrible nauseous feeling similar to butterflies in the pit of your stomach. The horrible feeling of failure/failing and dreading the negative reactions from your failures. Dread of what’s to come next rather than looking forward of what good is to come.
The past few weeks.
Past few weeks, we’ve had the kids poorly as I mentioned in my previous post “Dropping Like Flies“. Well Pig and Beast are now so full of cold. Constant snotty noses and flem, a simple cough can set them off being sick.
Bless them, but it’s my fiance Sarah, she’s having a tough time at the moment. She is working part time and also attending university around that to achieve her end goal of her dream career. But she fell a couple of weeks back and badly sprained her ankle.
This means she has been struggling with that. Further back in October she was in hospital for a week or so with Pneumonia. For her it could have ended her life. Sarah suffers with asthma, quite bad asthmatic to be honest. The simplest of chest infection or a cold can really knock her for six.
We were back at the GP surgery with her on Monday as she had started to get tight chested and breathless. Also with pain in her ear and dizziness. Turns out she has a chest and ear infection.
But with the treatment she received for the pneumonia she had, she shouldn’t be coming down with a chest infection not so long after. We were told if no improvement with her chest after 48-72hrs of antibiotics and steroids they want her to go for a chest X Ray to check that the previous infection actually went away.
Have these recent events made my mental health worse?
Now for some they would just take all this on the chin and carry on and deal with the bad hand that life has dealt them at the moment. For me I find it hard, constant negative thoughts of what’s to come. What’s going to happen, especially with Sarah.
She is my Best friend and Soul mate and I have no idea where I would be without her as my partner in crime. Struggling slightly with my depression through this past few weeks, but I know with support from people I have around me and to not let the negative thoughts from struggles with Depression and Anxiety triumph, everything will be ok.
So for fellow dad’s. Remember… #itsoknottobeok. It’s OK to open up about how your feeling. Whether it is with your partner, girlfriend, fiance, husband or wife or even a friend down the pub. The people around us are there to support us and there is help out there from your local GP or other local services their is nothing to fear and no reason to feel embarrassed to admit you are struggling.
Help with mental health.
One great site I have found very helpful with an array of useful information and advice for your mental health such like – depression and anxiety is Mind Website. The NHS has a great source for helplines and other sources of information to help with your Mental health and well-being which you can check Here.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope myself being more open with my fight with mental health can possibly help others not to struggle alone and know that it’s OK to seek help or talk to someone about it.