I’m a Dad. Definitely not a perfect one. I dont know if anyone can actually admit or claim they are a perfect parent. I have been parenting for going on 9 years now. It’s a tough role. Believing we have to be the ‘Strong’ one, the ‘Load Bearer’. The main Link in the family chain that takes the strain and keeps everything together.
I’m not only a Dad but also a Step Dad too, with now 3 daughters of my own from 14 months old to 8yrs and 2 Step Daughters who are now 6 and 8, it’s a tough old road this Fatherhood and parenting lark.
Now with my older 2 Daughters and my 2 step daughters I have always been a full time worker. So the time we spent were mornings before heading off to graft and evenings and weekends. Only weekends with my eldest daughter Emelia (daughter from previous relationship). This is the routine we have and it’s great, difficult at times but works none the least.
Now why do I feel like a newbie to parenting.
As I mentioned above when my 2 older daughters and Step daughters were at an age where they could confidently walk and start exploring. What I would imagine in there eyes would be the best place ever with all these wonderful things to climb, crawl under and explore. I never got the chance to experience that like mum did and what comes with it as a parent.
Im now the Stay at Home Parent, it’s similar to being locked in a cage with a wild animal!
I’m now experiencing all of this with Charlotte, she’s such a happy little character. Always smiling and chuckling and laughing. It makes you feel a sense of pride that she’s so happy. You must be doing something right with this parenting stuff after all. Now I’m way out of my comfort zone with her though. With experiencing being at home with her full time, out of the parenting zone of what I know.
Mum’s do a grand job to be fair, teachings of the word NO. The beginnings of discipline and going through the stressful and anxious situations of the wandering fearless baby. From climbing furniture, baby gates, running on a great escape to carry on there adventures elsewhere.
I’m having to go through this situation with the mini beast as I’ve come to nickname her. I’ve never done this before. It’s made me feel like a first time father in a way. The teaching of what’s right and wrong, the foundations to build on as she grows and flourishes into a toddler, young girl and beyond.
Current at home parenting experiences.
I’m an anxious nervous bloke at the best of times. But seeing the beast climbing the sofa and chairs in the lounge. All of this literaly puts the shits in me. Is she going to do a leap of faith and hurt herself! Now I’m trying with her just lifting her off with a… “No”. “We don’t climb”. Or sitting her down, which for her and who she is is an impossible task. This thing never stops unless she’s in bed! Seriously she’s like the bunny from the duracell advert where she just keeps on going.
She’s unforgiving. She’s at the age where toys are interestingly eye catching with there tunes and flashing lights. But once she’s seen it for 30 seconds… Nah I’m bored now climbing this looks mega fun.
It’s way out of the norm for me. Now I have found myself around my Dad chores and her nap times sat with a good ole brew flicking through Google. Reading up and researching parenting advice and tips on how to tackle this. But also to aid in my task of getting her to learn basically what is safe and unsafe.
The parenting research.
Now you pop in what you are looking for into Google. Woa, it’s like a bomb explodes of overwhelming information. Now for a 1st time parent. This sort of related content from your search that appears and you begin to read through and take it all in. You can imagine for a 1st time parent. Mother or father.It would be extremely daunting, as you’ll get results and info for when they’re older too. Which then sparks the imagination off of what could be to come and the thoughts of SHIT… We’re not ready for this.
Calm down dears, it’s only Parenting.
Dont panic your fine. What I have learnt through my stint as a Dad and parenting. Is to just go with it. Follow your instincts, they will come. Yeah it’s stressful and hard, life wouldn’t be what it is if it was easy now would it.
I ended up overwhelmed with what I had read up from the likes of mums net. The likes of other parents who seem to come across as a super parent guru who have experienced all. Conquered all and received numerous medals and royalty given rewards for such a task.
With this all giving a bit of a mind overload. I turned to the network that is social media. I’m a member of a couple of groups. Now sorry ladies but these are strictly Men Only. I’m sure there are a hell of alot more mummy groups out there for you all.
What’s helped me with parenting.
I’ll share these with you Dad’s as for me they have been an incredible source for asking the sort of questions I required answers too, now the information you get isn’t from the self obsessed parental guru’s they are from blokes like you and me, been through the same struggles and come out of the situation smiling and successful.
Here’s a couple of links of my main go to Dad groups, they’re a wonder of information and also a great social place to share troubles, thoughts, advice with other like minded Dad’s. The support network I’ve received and even contributed to is incredible.
Now I do appologise these are UK Based but I’m sure with a quick search through Facebook you should be able to find something for wherever in the world you are.
The advice and the implementation.
Now from fellow Dad’s through these Dad groups, alot have been there, done it and got the t-shirt so to speak. Alot of support from fellow Dad’s in your current battle.
Now what I will advise is whatever tactic you choose out of your parental arsenal, just keep calm and be consistent. Remember Rome wasn’t Built in a day and it isn’t going to be a Mary Poppins like scenario where you click your fingers or stamp your talking parrot brolly on the floor… Dad’s I know what your thinking. Get the image of you dressed like snoop dogg looking like a pimp with a big cane stamping it on the floor in an attempt to make some magic happen… Focus now.
It’s going to take time and patience and as your child grows its these repetitive calmish, I say calmish because I know how stressful it can be, when your tired and stressed it may not be as calm as what you may want it to be. But they will learn, they may win some battles but overall its the parents who will be victorious in the war.!!
I just hope you may find this useful but for me I’ll say TTFN tatafornow I’m off to peel a manic beast of a 14 Month old from the back cushions of the sofa.