Where to start with this one. I know, with a rather loud scream and a side order of smack your head against the wall. Paddy’s, Tantrums and even the odd occasional melt down thrown in for good measure to keep parent’s on their toes.
Can you imagine what it’s like in my house? Well let me tell you…
5 girls in total in our house. Yep you read that right 5. 4 through the week and my eldest Daughter Pork chop with us at the weekends.
We get a lot of the but she’s got my toy or she’s got more than me argument starters. The I didn’t do it or they told me to’s. The sort any household would have. But when there’s 3 or more involved it’s like a chain reaction one after the other. The paddy’s start usually following something or a decision that doesn’t involve them getting there own way.
The Question is though… How do you deal with this? Is there a certain approach? A certain tactic or battle plan?
Questions regarding this, yes there’s answers. But… Are they the correct ones? In my opinion… No.
Why? Each child is unique, their own personality. They have their own attitudes different to others, not one the same. You can google parenting tips and various ways like in the links above, until the cows come home. The ones to address these common issues we as parents come across.
In my opinion what one parenting tip or advice would work maybe for 1 child, but wouldn’t work for another.
From my own experiences of addressing the paddy’s, Tantrums and melt downs.
From my own experiences with my daughters, both me and the Mrs have had to deal with many over the years. Both tackled them with our own personal and different parental styles so to speak.
Meltdown’s are the worst!! Where it’s begun with a paddy, then turned to a tantrum to pursue whatever it is they’re rebelling against or making a stand for. And when things still do not go their own way well it’s like a mini military general has it Defcon 5!!
Absolutely No form of communication can help against this. We’ve many a time like some of you reading this may have experienced. You know, the trip to the bedroom, shut the door and let them scream it out. The moment when your paranoid that your neighbours may believe that your child is being murdered!
The banging of wardrobe doors, the throwings of inanimate objects around the room. The sort of situation that may diffuse after 10 minutes or even hours on end.
For us these aren’t very common.
Not very common but still can happen. Paddy’s and Tantrums though, we do seem to get these most days. All differ between each of my daughters as they all have different personalities.
She can be quite emotional, if a situation occurs the waterworks are the main tool in her arsenal. Now to address this the other half is certainly the master. She can quickly, swiftly and calmly diffuse this in a quick fashion. Me, I’m a bit more gun ho, stand my ground strict ish which seems to once addressed escalate the situation and doesn’t resolve anything.
Stubborn and fiery with a short fused temper. When I hate to admit it, just like her daddy. Some occasions mood dependant, a strict stern voice and swift action of the naughty step. Even though may encounter her vocally expressing her disagreement but usual she sees the error of her ways. But sometimes she requires a calmer softer approach to defuse the impending explosion. Usually a cuddle and soft spoken words act like a bucket of water emptied over a fire.
Fast becoming a young minded teenager at the ripe age of 8. Thinking that she is more mature but still with a sense of childishness. Cheeky answering’s back remarks and comments. She is certainly a button pusher.
The constant repetetive ‘Please’ over and over again after she has been told NO by either me or Mum, but still persists. And when the NO has been enforced it’s almost like a transformation occurs. The only way I can describe it is a rolled up mix of ‘Harry Enfield’s Kevin and Perry’ rolled into one person. If you don’t know who Kevin and Perry are, then click here. It’s an amazing resemblance with the grunt’s and groan’s in disgust and dismay. We tend to find we get this sort of attitude rather than paddy’s and tantrum’s. We get the odd occasional melt down though if she pushes far enough and has to accept a punishment.
We usually have a transition period with her. When i pick her up on a Friday evening it’s similar to an adjustment period. Adjusting from the lack of structure, routine and lack of discipline at her Mum’s house to our house. We have rules, structure, boundaries and discipline. This can be a bit stressful. It is almost like a groundhog day effect. Go through the same every weekend when she is with us. Paddy’s and Tantrum’s aren’t really common more emotional sulking now as she gets older. 9 next month, jeez where does the time go.
As for the youngest of the princess tribe. She has certainly started with the Paddy’s and Tantrum’s. These especially occur when she cannot have or get a toy her sister’s are playing with, or somebody removes a toy from her vice like grasp. She also gets very Hangry, her temper and paddy’s are worse and more frequent when she is hungry. At the moment we just leave her to it and ignore her while she is having a paddy or a tantrum. She soon calms down and even comes to you for comfort. Something we have done with all of our girls. She will soon learn that these actions are not a suitable way of getting what she wants. They will still happen but won’t be severe as if you were to give in and feed the young paddyistic and tantruming behaviours with attention/ Fuelling the fire so to speak.
Why apologies? I hope you have not taken this post as a holy grail to aid you in a magic be all end all trick for stopping paddy’s and tantrum’s. Because it isn’t. Like you we are dealing with them too. The best advice I can give any parent is this – It depends on your child. They are all Unique and have their own personality and traits. Yourself as a parent knows them better than anyone. You know which may be the appropriate way to approach a situation with them. Whether it is to comfort them when upset or to attempt to dampen a raging inferno of rage.
Use your knowings of your child on how to approach them. An all out strict stern approach isn’t going to help a situation when your child is a sensitive gentle sole, it will aggrivate and make the situation worse. Admittedly this is my issue with Titch and Pig at times. We seem to clash.
I hope this may have been useful to you. It has been for me, a way to vent slightly, a look into what we face with paddy’s and tantrum’s.