As a boyfriend, fiance or husband one job we have in our relationship is to support our partner. One area where they will need a lot of support is when they are pregnant. You are soon to become Dad and your partner Mum. Even if from time to time they say they are fine (we know this isn’t the case) they will need our help and support.
We need to show our partner encouragement, to stand by their side and to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Her body is going to be going through some major changes Dad’s and we need to offer a relaxing environment for the mum to be to help make the pregnancy easier and less stressful.
5 ways Dad’s can make a difference during pregnancy
For Dad’s, trying to support our pregnant partner can be quite tricky. You will feel often like you are walking on egg shells most of the time, we don’t quite understand what they or their body is going through. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally also.
- Pitch in around the house – Your pregnant partner isn’t just going to be knackered she is also going to be emotionally vulnerable too. So taking a load off her in the form of some housewifely chores is a simple way to help support her.
- Create a contact list – Us Dad’s are usually the ones who are in charge and on stand-by to make the announcement of your new arrival to the world. Your partner and mum of your child is going to be majorly pissed though if the only people you contact is your fishing wingman Charlie. Dodgy Dave from the local working men’s club and Frank that you pair up with for the weekly pub quiz. You need to sit down with your partner and work out between each other who is going to be on a list to contact. Priorities fellas. Yes that even includes the In Laws (even though my own in laws are awesome).
- Be involved and Informed – I don’t have to explain this one because you full well know how your partner became pregnant. But we want to keep ourselves informed of what is going on throughout the pregnancy, what is happening etc… also to be supportive and their for your partner. One way to do all of this is to attend Dr’s appointments, Scans and midwife appointments. You will know and feel at ease with what is going on also.
- Listen and Talk to your Partner – Being pregnant and the thought of becoming a mum or a dad is a pretty big thing and a lot to handle. Speak with your partner, be open and honest about how you are feeling. If your anxious or have any nerves, tell them, I’m sure becoming a mum is making her feel very similar to what you are and some. Ask her how she is feeling and listen to what she feels and any worries or Anxieties. Even make an attempt to fob her off if you need to with the odd “No Darling your feet don’t resemble the Michelin man’s at all, I don’t know what made you think that”. Don’t just offer the advice of it’ll be alright or you need to chill out. This may make her emotional and want to stab you in the neck with a spoon. Listen to her and offer her supportive and caring advice and answers.
- Get the Bags Packed – This may not be necessary until the later end of the pregnancy like the third trimester. But it is a big way you can help he mum to be and that is to get things together and packed ready for the hospital. A bag or suitcase filled with all mum’s essentials that she will need during the labour, childbirth and after also. But things for baby too, clothes, nappies, blankets. I will be writing a post in the coming weeks of how us Dad’s can pack a hospital bag ready for childbirth.
So there are 5 way’s you can help support your partner.
6 Things Dad’s should know about Pregnant women.
Every woman is different while they are pregnant, each is unique. Dave from down the pub may tell you about how the experience was with his wife, you expect similar and find it is the complete opposite. Below are 6 Things you should know about pregnant women so you can help support your partner.
Regular Toilet stops
This can creep up at anytime throughout a pregnancy. Whether you are out in the local town doing a bit of baby shopping, out of nowhere your partner may all of a sudden need to go right now!! Driving in the car on the way to visit some friends or family or maybe an appointment… Boom she needs to pee. This is completely normal and natural so not to worry but be prepared for regular toilet stops.
She will be feeling extremely tired. Sometimes even so tired it’s like she has carried out a triathlon. This is to be expected though, she is growing a tiny human inside her body. Her body is working overtime making necessary changes to accommodate the baby. Restless sleep is quite common too which will also make her feel extremely tired. So Dad’s crack out your aprons and don the chef hat as just something as simple as making the meals or cooking up a baked treat can be a great way to support your pregnant spouse.
Obviously this will happen, your partner will gain weight during pregnancy. They are carrying an extra person within them. You will find she will eat more than usual due to her burning more calories than usual due to the pregnancy, but… and this is a big BUT… No guys not BUTT a but. Just because your partner is eating more and gaining weight this is one thing you don’t need to do also to help support them. If she wants an extra large side of fries with her big mac let her, an extra strawberry milkshake to dip those fries in… sure why not. You don’t need an extra big mac to show moral support.
Yes guys this is a real thing, expect your partner to eat or drink some funky combos. Like I covered in baby weight, dipping fries in a strawberry milkshake… Sounds god damn awful right? Well to a pregnant woman this is heaven and sends waves of foodgasms throughout her pregnant food wanting body.
Prepare yourself for the late night runs to the 24hr Esso down the road for chocolate or pringles. Yes guys be prepared to be awoken from your beauty sleep and trundled out of the door at god knows what time. Don’t be angry it isn’t her fault. It’s the baby’s, you can get your own back with embarrassing dad jokes and moments when they are older.
My god do I know about this one. Sarah my wonderful partners nose went full blown overtime during her pregnancy. She could smell that I had opened a tube of BBQ flavoured pringles from her mothers house or even knew what scent washing up liquid I was using to do the dishes (whilst getting those brownie points in helping with some housewifely duties) from the bedroom upstairs.
Some may even repulse her which may not have before she was pregnant, so be careful. It’s not just sense of smell either it can be taste buds. One thing she ate last Christmas and enjoyed may taste completely different whilst she is pregnant. So pick those snacks or treats to fulfil her cravings wisely.
Pillows, cushions… soft things
Be prepared, to help her get comfortable your bed will become like a display of pillows and cushions from Dunelm. Rammed full there may not be room for you there soon (I hope you have a comfortable sofa).
Completely natural to want to be comfortable while pregnant. Their posture will change to mae adjustments for the extra baby weight that they are carrying. This can result in back pain caused by the strain. Pillows and cushions are a great way to help ease this pain and discomfort. Not to worry though i’m sure she isn’t imagining the pillow is Gerard Butler, don’t take it personal she is just trying to be as comfortable as possible.
All the best to you supportive Dad legends
So there we have it, some Helpful tips for Dad’s to support their pregnant partner. I hope this post will help you be there for your partner, both physically and mentally. It is a tough time for both mum’s and dad’s.
This is one area I aim to be supportive with is for the fellow dad’s and fathers out there. This pregnancy lark isn’t my first rodeo,. I have 5 children, I’ve been there got the T-shirt and finished the collection. I do have some useful posts that I have put together which may help you Dad’s further too during the pregnancy. Check out the links below.
Useful Help & Advice for First time Fathers – https://yorkienotjustfordads.com/useful-helpful-advice-first-time-fathers/
You will definitely hit this speed bump at some point so get it bookmarked – https://yorkienotjustfordads.com/handle-toddlers-tantrums-7-easy-steps/
Your baby has arrived and has begun teething, trust me teething is hard for any parent so this is worth Bookmarking too – https://yorkienotjustfordads.com/help-my-baby-is-teething/
Moving your little one from their cot to a toddler bed can also prove troublesome for most parents. Almost 4 weeks in and we are still figuring out the best routine but here is a useful post on moving your toddler from a cot to a toddler bed – https://yorkienotjustfordads.com/moving-toddler-from-cot-to-toddler-bed/
One other thing I will offer for you Dad’s out their, even for mum too as they are also welcome is a social group I have become part of and absolutely love. Some great advice from other parents, similar to a parenting support network in a way and that is the Dadvengers. Check out more about the Dadvengers and their social media over on the website https://dadvengers.com/.