Being a Step-dad and what it means to me.
Step-dad, Step-father, step-parent… Step. This is something that is close to my heart being a Step-father to two amazing young girls. Mouse and Titch.
What I don’t generally like of the situation and name around Step. As John Adams from DadBlog UK stated in a past blog post of his regarding ‘The Misunderstood World of the Stepchild’.
Now as a Step-dad myself if that is the label and title I am given. Generally when searched in the likes of Google – most things relating to step-parents, step-families, step-children or blended families is very negative.
But why is it negative? In my eyes there is nothing negative regarding me being a step-dad to my 2 girls Mouse and Titch. I actually heard a quote from a gentleman on Instagram on the Dadvengers Dads live chat regarding how he see’s his step daughters. This quote he mentioned was said to his step daughters Dad/Father –
They maybe and always will be your daughters… But they are also my girls.Quote regarding his Step Daughters from Step Father Royston – Instagram – Rad_the_Dad.
I am a Step-Dad/Step-Father.
I have been a part of my girls life since Mouse was 2 yrs of age and Titch was around 15 months old. As of the 8/9/2020 on their return to school Mouse has now ventured into Yr4 and Titch into Yr3.
As any parent does looking back on the memories of their children, as I do with my 3 daughters. I also look back on memories of my girls too. I cannot believe they are now so far into their school education. I am so Proud of them Both.
I need to write this post as with the negativity and stigma behind Step… the step-parent or Step-child and blended families is utterly ridiculous and just like Mens Mental Health this stigma and negative image about the subjects needs to be gotten rid of.
Can Step-dads/Step-fathers also be a beneficial role in the raising of step-children in a blended family environment? Would be great to get to knoow your thoughts and views on this one – maybe for a future post.
I am a SAHD and I have 5 Girls.
I am a Stay at Home Dad. I have been since March 2019 (have a read of one of how it was being the Stay at Home Dad to a 12 month old baby Here). I have 5 girls. (3 daughters and 2 step-daughters). Now the way I see it, I maybe a Daddy-Dad-Father to 3 Daughters… But I have 5 girls. They may not be my daughters biologically or by blood- But they are still my girls and they always will be.
As with the quote above, they maybe their Fathers Daughters but they are my Girls. The girls is my own special term for classing them as mine too. I say I have 5 girls because they are all equal. They are all treated the same and equally.
Me and Sarah do have a good relationship with Mouse and Titch’s Dad. He is very helpful with where the girls are concerned.
Some relationships after a separation/divorce with where the children are involved can become sour and negative, this can be impacted on the children and also the relationship of parent and child.
The Bond and Relationship of Step-dad or Step-parent and their Step-child.
Some step-parents may struggle to bond with their step-child, they may not be able to deal with the fact they still have an active parental figure in the child’s life.
For me this isn’t the case, the positive relationship I have with my girls Dad has helped with my bond with them, like a team effort and as the Step-Dad I am respected for it.
I would like to think that me and my girls have a great bond much like they would have with their Dad. I woild like to imagine that I am a Good Step-dad to Mouse and Titch.
I do struggle with the feelings of Parental Guilt though. Sometimes regarding the bond with my 2 girls and My Eldest Daughter Pork Chop.
I mean I have lived with my Mouse and Titch for over 6 years now and subsequently I have not lived with my eldest Daughter Pork Chop (She lives with her mum, my ex partner. She stays with us at weekends and extra days in the school holidays).
Because of this scenario, I do as I mentioned struggle with feelings of parental guilt, as I have found the bond I have with my 2 step-daughters Mouse and Titch feels greater than the bond I have with my eldest daughter.
I think this can be understandable really as I have lived in the same household as a father figure with Mouse and Titch for 6+ Years where as with Pork Chop it has just been the arranged time for her to spend with us.
Are you a Step-dad/Step Father (Step-mums/Step-mothers welcome also)
Have you struggled Bonding with your Step-child or Step-parent?
Have you ever struggled with a form of parental guilt? Whether this is as a Parent or Step-parent.
A discussion below in the comments would be great, let us know your thoughts and experiences.
This is a subject around step – step-dads/step-fathers/step-children/step-mums/step-mothers is very close to me being a Step-father (I’m just Eddie – no label) so I’m sure we will touch on this again in future posts.